Its like when you are on the 9^th “O” of the “GOOGLE” search and you still haven’t found the precise website that satisfies your exploration, that’s how exhausted I am.  The curtains are drawn before I even get time to spread ‘em apart, my sweetheart laptop is tired of being hot now, and its as if each time I turn to type someone subtly pulls down the blinds to nighttime, because the moon awaits to see my longing for another past day. 

The agenda to be achieved runs constantly in mind’s OUTLOOK with the set beeps and reminders and pop-ups that I have enabled because amidst all the workload, I need time for lots of other things. There is nothing more wearisome than being idle and thankfully I do not have a yawn to spare. 

Even with the silence that dawns when I study, there are so many noises that I have to listen to: of social relations, of parents, and of all those who are too special to not share my day with. And I am back to being the lil cranky, the lot hyper, the questioning and demanding and crazy me! And its exactly what I need.

Its more than annoying, knowing someone who is this over-excitedly frenzied, above -obsessive fanatic with a discharge of mania and exhilaration propelling out of them and who thinks their birthday marks the start of the millennium’s jubilee.

Yes. that’s me!!!

December 8. Its when red drapes cover wall spaces, ribbons are custom-made so that they can fit the gifts, chocolates fall at every blink and the trumpets call out to start the annual celebration. Okay this is over-doing it but I am a spoilt little monster when it comes to this day. Maybe it’s the feel that makes you feel the world halts at midnight to clap at your moment or just that sentiment that makes you feel so very elite.

And why not. When you spend the rest of the year writing on other’s walls or out buying a card for someone else, or planning someone else’s surprise, there comes a day where the wall, the call and the purchase is reserved  just for you.

This is the day where I want all the events to take place. Whether it’s a major sports tournament or the court’s verdict on an appeal or the release of a blockbuster or the day when the newspaper arrives at 8 instead of 9 or ebay’s discount Christmas sale. I love to see that single number flash on channels, print on billboards and written on every piece of paper. Call me crazy!

And I own those 24 hours.  

5 things i do

1. i like to go on phone blackouts. I call it PHONE REHAB

2. i laugh when i remember something funny (even during tests. Like today)

3. i pretend that i hate facebook

4. i make a vow to become a vegetarian when i am full of steamed cheesy-chicken with hot garlic sauce and oregano seasoning.

5. i love making lists

You’re walking down the road, on a lovely sunny day, with your own little cheery smile. Then suddenly you feel a splat of something on you. Yep. Its bird shit. That’s how you feel with life sometimes; a mishmash of irritation, of melancholy, of exasperation that changes the wallpaper of your face! But over the days, upon traveling, and meeting all kinds of people I’ve discovered that there is a chocolate center to the chewy crust of life and to accept and walk on is the solution, even though there is another bird waiting to shit on you.

The summer of 2009 has really changed me. I have become more positive, more enthusiastic and have learnt to accept all kinds of circumstances, no matter if they come with a scratched surface or in a decorative packaging. Actually I think I’ve always been like this but the excitement of being someone, now that school is over, cloaked my personality. But now, knowing that I have friends who will smack me if I change, and not for the better, and family for whom I have no worthy-enough words for, I am ready to serve against all odds with a smash from the very first hit.

I mean even I have those days where I feel like getting a mosquito zapper and spanking all those people whose only delight is so see you miss a step on the ramp of life. Now, I am just too secure to care. There is so much to look forward too! Studies, friends, travel, opportunities, and college! Its not only these ½ star rating moments that are my memories, I have some of the most fabulous reminiscences of my life. From astounding secrets, to those moments where my stomach hurts from the non-stop hysterical laughing, to tender moments that have made me sleepless for nights and to the silly and naughty little shenanigans that I’ve been a part of. I have never learnt to love my life more!

When chewing gum gets stuck in your hair, you have no option but to cut it off but eventually that hair grows back, more plush, more beautiful. We all want to troubleshoot life ever so often but we have all the answers and yet we’re so busy finding them! I am not bragging nor am I swanking about myself. But life has handed me my share of lemons and I’ve simply leant to toss ‘em back and ask for strawberries instead!!

Come by sometime and I’ll be there,
Walking beside the dew pond as I always did,
My hands folded, eyes empty,
Just walking in silence

I’ll be there finding stars through the daylight hours,
Struggling with my open hair thrusting in my eyes,
One hand stroking my necklace,
My lips partly opened

Walking through the marsh,
The rough corners of the grass brushing against my legs,
The wind blowing my frilly skirt gently,
I’d just hug myself tighter

There’ll be light drizzle amongst the overcast,
It will be a little cold but I’d be too numb to complain,
Stepping on the muddy water underneath,
But I wouldn’t look down

Tap my shoulder if you come
I may not see you or hear you call my name,
As I have become hollow inside, and hurt,
But come by sometime and I’ll be there...

The one revered ventriloquist. The acute, daunting games he plays with us. And the flawless results he expects. It’s Him who decides whether we walk or trip and fall. Our fate and fortune, our luck, and future are all his croquet. We’re opponents in all his games; except the only rule is…He always wins.


I have my own fights with Him, but I withdraw immediately out of dread and deference. However courageous or famous or moneyed, against Him you’re a spawn. He can nip you off the bud and leave you to wither or water you to bloom and prosper. Well, there is no competition to start with, it’s silly to even mention. The reins to our decisions, our paths, and our strength are all in his grip. One mistake and its poof!

It’s not this all the while. There is a reason for all that we have to face in our lives, at least that’s what I believe. Our course for the future is sculpted by our moral fiber, our judgments, humanity, morals and our decisions. His rulebook is inaccessible but as we grow we start to take hints and bind our knowledge and experience to get as close as we can. These talks may sound juvenile and absurd to some but we all have our own ideologies and this is mine. A person never gets what he/she does not deserve. Skipping beyond beliefs like seven lives and karma, I think it’s all about now. This one life.

What is the point to have all riches with the aid of deception and betrayal and to die a pathetic, pitiful, untimely death at the end or what difference does it make if you reach great heights tripping others with duplicity and then getting knotted in bankruptcy or debt? It’s inane, suicidal to use your intellect against Him. Sooner or later, the rewards or the retributions come and then it’s a matter of survival.

Even though I am aware that each and every step of mine is being scrutinized, I feel comforted that there are eyes to look over me and protect me. He will provide the buoyancy I need if time tries to submerge me. This, I believe, is more than faith.

12:00 am. I call it the starting of my Sunday night even though it’s already Monday morning. Sunday: all and only about rest or tons of power naps for me, a table of desirable of dishes made to order, and most importantly invasion of the TV as Sunday is the day that the biggest blockbusters air, all at once! Right now it’s a much loved movie: JTJN starring two of the cutest actors of today.

Movies like this really get me gushy and maudlin, swirling up a lot of miscellaneous emotions. Some scenes bring little drops of tears, some result in giggles while others get me poignant. I think we all need cinema like this, ones that stir up our cheerful past or get us thinking about the excitement yet to zoom into our lives. I may be over reacting but these movies get me all syrupy, after it’s the age from 19 to 25 that we remember for the rest of our lives. I certainly hope I pass these years with the most thrills: in the company of good friends, holding mischievous secrets, a little of those heartbreaking moments which bring out all the drama of our lives, meeting plenty of groovy people to who I call at any hour of the day. In short, I want to live life to the extreme and I mean it, after all these years will never return and I don’t want to look back and say “I wish..”. I don’t plan on going wild but I do want to attempt to have the best of everything: the best of friends, the best of laughter, monkey business, trips, celebrations, gatherings and just absolute fun. I don’t want it to be a Mardi gras everyday but close to that would do!

I am certainly not going to leave behind my zest for standing at a platform where I can touch my dream. I know that I have skills that if I polish, would only promote me in the coming years. I’ll walk the road of hard work with a tap on the sidewalk of exposure. I realize the fact that I have been dreaming of making it huge with all my little and large achievements right from school and I certainly will, but its one life. Why so serious?



It’s college.

For me the outer appearance is quite close to being as significant as the substance. A book needs an attractive coat, the wrapper to be as fine as the candy, an essay with a nice font but thankfully this is limited to only entities. People have a different story to them.

I love to analyze people and perhaps I do so subconsciously but I still do. The lifestyle they lead, choices they make, words they speak, and most importantly how they appear and how they really are. Sometimes I surprise myself at the depth I can look inside a person and not at all the creepy way. I am talking about normal, everyday life and how people deal and approach each throw of life; whether they catch it, drop it or misfield.

We all want others to be like us. Walk the same pace as us, like the same color as us, have the same taste or posses the same attitude. How often did we want to give a makeover to those around us; a facelift of their approach and opinion? The simple reason is that we want clones of ourselves, well not all the time, only on those occasions where others’ style and slant start to provoke ours. We all accept and acknowledge diversity but when your ideas and thoughts are clashed by someone else’s, its all about how strange that other person is and how quickly can they be transformed them into a ‘you’.

While some want to show their lifestyle off in want of appreciation, others showcase their talent for whatever skill they posses. Then there are those who take the high road and appear to be the most easy-going, nonchalant chaps. We all know each person has a singular, obscure story hidden somewhere in them. No need for judgment because after all each of us is trying to appear in society, an implicit rule being followed.

It has on many occasions really annoyed me when I see people act different than they usually do; talk like they want to be heard, laugh at the instances they usually wouldn’t, pretend where they do not have to. This is not a bold statement nor an accusation, just an observation. Then I realize that I too go about doing things that are expected, not wanted by me at times. Whatever the reason may be, at the end we mark our territory and stay within our comfort zone.

Its 3 pm on a clear, sunny Saturday afternoon and I am at home enjoying a delightfully hilarious movie; a good laugh uplifting an already relaxing mood. The movie has the most straightforward plot radiating back an easy-going mood. For me, at the moment, every day is a Sunday and I can proudly say that I have seen a significant share of all the movies ever made, with a few exceptions of course.

For the time being, I’ve being enjoying my summer like there’s no tomorrow; no worries, no responsibilities, no duties. More like an unemployed, who does not care about getting a job!

Ordering dishes to be made according to my mood and taste, catching up on a long lost sleep, watching songs, advertisements, chat shows, interviews, documentaries and music videos are all some of my daily doings. And who doesn’t like being pampered at home, even though in my case it’s more of asking to be spoilt rather than getting so by the will of others. I get up relaxed, spend the day laid-back and am back to bed planning another day of being unperturbed.

My 24-hours work a little behind schedule as I wake up when the sun is yawning in midday and I sleep when I can almost hear the birds getting ready for another day. Even so, I do not let the easy going routine get me lackadaisical. I write, I surf and watch Discovery until I realize the series start to be repeated after a cycle. Then there’s the evening when both my parents come home from work and I spend quality family time with them. Then, its all about the walks with daddy, eating some or the other munchies outside, from snacks to shakes and smoothies, and then finishing the day with a family talk time at home. Then when my parents are asleep, I go to my room, turn on my laptop and yak with friends who are waiting to tell me about their own day.

Bar, nougat, candy, stick, nut, fruit like strawberry or cherry either filled, coated, sprinkled, dipped or covered with caramel, cream, toffee or syrup. Before you decide to place or order here, let me tell you this is just a carte du jour of the different ways you can touch and taste ecstasy. Watching the making of chocolate in Discovery today stirred up my adrenaline and forced me write.

I am an uncompromising fanatic when it comes to chocolate. I have tasted chocolate from every country possible, right from there, but I still crave for it like a stubborn child. Personally on my plate, I wouldn’t mind chocolate of any shape or structure. Size, well that I would argue for. My zeal for chocolate measures a little high on the scale of obsession but who doesn’t like going mmmm… as a piece of satisfaction melts away in their mouths. Whether dark or milk, emulsified or hardened, chewy, gooey or drippy you can bribe me or fool me if you have an expensive one at hand!

Through life’s toughest times, chocolate has been my knight in shining armor and through the sweetest moments, it’s been my chum. Thankfully my friends and parents have understood that it is not just a craving but inevitability a basic need so I have no problem in demands. I need no occasion, justification or opportunity to have one. And those who know me know this. I literally forget life’s strains as soon as I open the wrapper, get a whiff of the scent and eat away slowly, quietly….and alone.

Bon Appetite!

=)

When the day finally fades and the sky is wrapped with a black glossy wrapper tightened with a ribbon made of stars, we know night has set in.

I am a total night person. I absolutely love waking up late nights chatting, watching television or even writing blogs and my favorite place is sitting right next to the balcony. The glass doors let me look out and fall in a web of wonders. As I evaluate my day I look down at tiles of my veranda, when I think about tomorrow I look at the city in its eyes and as I dream about my future, I gaze at the stars trying to make a secret settlement with them. Watching the city sleep, I smile because according to me this is the best time for me to reflect upon myself and aspire for the coming tomorrow.

No question there are more night-ers, as I call them, out there like me and sometimes I wish we could all come together and just talk because I know there is so much to tell, so much to listen to and so much to share and one of the ways to communicate with them indirectly, is by radio. The nightly on-air shows get me really keyed up. First of all I love the enthusiasm of the RJ’s. Their vivacity and exuberance captures the night, all in their voices. Secondly the gossips, chit-chats, and tête-à-tête with the youth are exciting for all of us to listen and relate to. After all we all have our own stories to tell don’t we and we all love to eavesdrop on others’ lives. The embarrassing moments, the ones where your heart skips a beat, the small and big secrets from parents all automatically add ecstatic vibes to the already jovial ambiance and why not, after all the purpose is to set and uphold the zesty mood.

Just like the day brings back responsibilities, pressures, commitments and schedules, night soothes down the soul and where some of us ask to sleep it all of, others like me want to hold hands with night and unwind. So come out all you night-ers and chill out, after all the night is still young.


CHEERS.
=)